In one of my recent sessions, I shared with a young woman the synchronistic chain of events that led to me and my husband finding the beautiful home we now live in. Afterwards I received a lovely email from her commenting how inspired she felt by this story and asked if I would be willing to share some words on my healing and stories such as that one.
I was thrilled with the idea. It was such a rich topic yet it felt that I would be selling it short if I focused solely on how things came to me and not on the inner-learning that opened the door to them. You see, the more I pondered on the events that led me to find this jewel of a house, to do work I love and marry a man I love deeply, the more I realize I was doing less manifesting and more co-creating.
Through my work doing intuitive readings I’ve have been privy to many people’s dreams. Their professional dreams, love dreams or even travel yearnings. Some of them come true and bring plenty of happiness. Some delay and make the dreamers feel stuck. Except. They are not. I know this because as an intuitive I have the gift of seeing someone’s energy.
Someone who is stuck has an energy that lags, that disconnects… like seeing someone so lost in thought that you feel the urge to poke them out of it. Many of this people just don’t feel that way. Their energy is high, it moves fluidly, it mirrors the emotions they are feeling yet they keep repeating “I’m stuck. Nothing’s happening. I must be blocked”. I’ve come to think of this as “drive-through manifestation”.
This is when we approach manifestation as a process through which we make our desires known, and the generous universe we live in finds the best way to give them to us, aka we place the order, pick it up and drive ahead. Yet there is something intrinsically at odds with the idea of living in a universe wise enough and powerful enough to materialize our desire yet passive enough not to talk back to us. That is the limitation of this approach, it doesn’t clarify what to do when the order doesn’t come through.
I’ve come to think of manifestation as co-creating. In my head I see myself in the middle of a lofty artist studio, full with canvases, oils and clay and next to me is another version of me. She is more artistry, she’s covered in paint, has a brush stuck behind her ears and is always grinning from ear to ear. Meet my higher self. She’s wise, she’s powerful, she’s generous and she’s my friend. She, like me, is also very stubborn. When I come to her all excited and tell her the beautiful dream I want to create she smiles, and heck if I know what will happen next. You see, she’s a very gifted artist, she won’t create something tacky just because I ask her to. Not even for me.
When I was a teenager and was struggling through depression I prayed that we would move to a different town. She said no, and instead she made me get lost and wander into a bizarre store where I bought what I thought was a knitting magazine (I don’t knit it just had a lovely cover) that turned out to be the most beautifully drawn comic book I’ve ever seen. That’s when I decided I would learn how to draw. That pulled me out of the depression and made me discover I was an artist.
When I was scared of the spirits I would see around people, I asked for it to stop. She said yes, but that it would only be for a while. It is that ability that now allows me to do the healing work I do. Thank God she didn’t really listen to me!
She doesn’t always say no. Sometimes she thinks my idea is not that bad, and she’ll pull an all-nighter to do the impossible for me. Like the time I decided I wanted to be an Angel Therapy Practitioner© and she made it so I was accepted into the program right away, when a lot of people had to try for years to be accepted.
Like the time I sensed I was not living my purpose and decided to go study abroad and she helped me make a last minute change in my application that got me accepted into one of the top universities in the world. For free. Oh and that was the second time that happened, almost the same thing happened in college, where a scholarship I had never heard about, or since, and that I did not apply to, found it’s way to me.
So here’s what I’m trying to say. Manifesting is real. It’s the way the universe works, but it’s more than a mechanism. It’s a language. It’s the universe’s smoke signal that you need to interpret. This is what often gets missing in the drive-through approach. We hear a no when it’s a “Not now”, we hear a no when it’s a “Not quite like this, you should consider _______”, we hear a no when they are saying “Yes, but you need to heal this first. Otherwise it won’t work”, we hear we’re in the wrong path when they whisper “Stay where you are”. Sometimes we even hear failure when the answer is indeed “No, this is not for you”.
And that is the other beautiful, mysterious side of manifesting. It’s a love affair between the universe and you. You get to ask, so does she. I had asked to be a veterinarian, then a doctor, then an ecologist. No, no, no she said. That is not your path. It hurt. It still stirs something within me when I see people in those paths, but I trust her. When I do my work, when I place my cards, when I plug into someone’s energy… I feel the presence of spirit. I know I am doing my work. Work only I can do. This is what was meant for me and I love it. And those other loves are not wasted, my love for nature became my spirituality, my love for medicine became my quest for healing. I am grateful for them, but in my path they are windows to look through, not doors to walk into.
I hope my words encourage you to manifest, to ask, to engage and above all I hope they encourage you to listen and trust to your inner artist who safeguards you and your path in life.